Through this series, I explore leadership beyond frameworks, grounded in real stories, lived decisions, and human complexity.

‍

Over the past few months, the same question has been following me from one conversation to the next:

‍

Who are we when the labels fall away?

‍

As leaders, professionals, and human beings, we often define ourselves through roles, achievements, expertise, and the certainty they provide. We introduce ourselves through job titles. We measure progress through achievements and promotions. We build careers around identities that can feel stable and permanent.

This month, I found myself exploring that question from three very different perspectives.

• First, through more than 100 deeply personal life stories shared by leaders from around the world, many of whom could not even reveal their names. Their stories illustrated what truly connects us.
• Second, through conversations with senior executives unexpectedly facing career transitions after decades of stability and success. What remains when a role disappears?
• Finally, through the eyes of an executive search expert who reminded me that leadership is never evaluated as an absolute.

Those different contexts point toward the same idea: resilience, connection, and leadership begin when we look beyond titles and focus on what truly matters.

I hope these reflections resonate with you.

‍

When You Can't Share Your Name

‍

What 4 weeks and over 100 life stories taught me about leadership, vulnerability, and human connection

We tend to introduce ourselves through facts: our name, our title, our achievements, the bullet points on a CV.

‍

But what remains when those facts cannot be shared?

Over the past six years, I have had the privilege of working with leaders whose profession often requires them to stay in the shadows to protect the rest of us, whether in national security, cybersecurity, or other sensitive environments.

‍

‍

Over the past four weeks, together with my teammates Eric du Bellay and Vanessa Rousselot, we listened to more than 100 life stories shared by leaders aged 35 to 60 from different sectors and nationalities.

‍

Every story was told in person. Some participants used their real names, while others chose anonymity. Around 70% were men. Many held positions that require courage, self-control, sound judgment under pressure, and a deep sense of responsibility toward others.

‍

‍

Again and again, similar themes emerged:

• The moment they met their life partner and simply knew.
• The loss of a brother or sister at a young age, and the determination to build a legacy their sibling never had the chance to create.
• Growing up in extreme poverty, in the Atlas Mountains or in the favelas of Brazil, and finding the strength to build a different future for themselves and their community.
• A conversation with someone who believed in them and helped them see possibilities they could never have imagined.
• Family conflicts inherited across generations, creating years of distance, pain, and unanswered questions.

As we listened, a deeper question emerged:

‍

What is it that truly connects us?

‍

When you cannot even share your name, connection happens differently. Not because we know more about each other, but because we reveal something more essential.

What remains are the experiences that shaped us, the wounds we carry, the people we love, the moments that changed the course of our lives.

You can feel it when a room falls silent after a story that resonated. You can see it in the eyes of the person sharing, and in those listening.

What binds us is our vulnerability, our resilience, our need to belong, our capacity to love, and the relationships that shape our lives.

In a world that often encourages us to lead with credentials and accomplishments, these conversations reminded me that the strongest connections are built on our shared humanity.

‍

Reinventing Ourselves When a Successful Career Meets an Unexpected Turn

The New Shape of Career Resilience for Senior Leaders

Over the past 12 months, I have seen an increasing number of talented senior leaders join my executive coaching practice after being unexpectedly laid off from organizations they had often served for 15, 20, or even 25 years.

The coach in me became curious. When enough similar stories emerge from different industries, companies, and countries, it is usually worth looking for the pattern beneath them.

‍

‍

The data suggests these stories are not isolated. Eurofound's European Restructuring Monitor continues to document large-scale restructuring across sectors, while LinkedIn's Labor Market Report from January 2026 indicates that hiring in advanced economies remains 20–35% below pre-pandemic levels. At the same time, research by outplacement firm Careerminds found that long-tenured employees are often among the least prepared for layoffs, with many lacking an active professional network or an up-to-date resume.

Behind those statistics are real people who spent decades growing businesses, leading teams, delivering results, and creating value.

Successful leaders suddenly find themselves asking questions they never expected to face:

• "Who am I when I am no longer the VP?"
• "What if I never find a role at this level again?"
• "Who am I without output?"

For many, the first challenge is not professional but psychological.

‍

The loss of a role often triggers a loss of identity.

Many leaders describe feeling exhausted in ways they cannot explain. Others become unusually distracted. A few experienced health issues or accidents shortly after the announcement. Stress has a way of showing up in places we do not expect.

Then comes the job search. Many initially rely on the strategies that worked earlier in their careers: polishing their CV, submitting applications, increasing the volume. But the rules have changed. LinkedIn reports that job seekers are significantly more likely to be hired when they already have a connection inside the organization. At senior levels, careers are built less through applications and more through relationships, reputation, and visibility.

‍

‍

This realization can be frustrating, but it can also be liberating.

People spend more time with their children. They return to sports, hobbies, and friendships that had gradually disappeared under the weight of demanding careers. They rediscover parts of themselves that had been waiting patiently in the background.

‍

One observation surprised me: very few missed the company itself, but almost all missed supporting their teams. The conversations. The sense of contribution. The feeling of being useful.

‍

And then comes the most interesting phase: reinvention.

‍

Some explore advisory work. Some launch businesses. Others transform a long-standing passion into a source of income. Many discover that their future may not look like a single executive role, but rather a portfolio of projects, clients, boards, investments, and meaningful work.

‍

Losing a job is painful, and I would never wish it upon anyone. Yet I am continually inspired by the leaders who emerge from this experience with a stronger network, a clearer sense of purpose, and a broader definition of success than the one they had before.

‍

Career resilience is no longer about finding the next role. It is about building a professional life that can thrive even when a role disappears.

‍

The situation is the first question (not the candidate)

‍

The other side: the perspective of the headhunter

‍

‍

For the 21st episode of Kaelon's Supernova podcast, I sat down with Alvaro Carcel, Partner Iberia at KINT.

Produced and edited by Des Delchev, whose thoughtful storytelling and creative direction help bring each conversation to life, the Supernova podcast explores the ideas, decisions, and experiences that shape leaders, entrepreneurs, and organizations. In this conversation, we turned our attention to a topic that sits at the heart of leadership: how organizations choose the people who will shape their future.

‍

Over the past decade, Alvaro has advised organizations on some of their most critical leadership hires across FMCG, retail, technology, manufacturing, pharma, and healthcare, working on assignments throughout Europe, the United States, and Latin America.

For a curious mind like his, executive search became an opportunity to study business from the inside. Fascinated by economics and organizational dynamics, he developed a deep interest in understanding how companies respond to change, uncertainty, and growth.

‍

Trained as a lawyer, Alvaro approaches executive search through a risk-aware lens. Before discussing candidates, he focuses on understanding the business challenge deeply. Two questions guide every assignment:

‍

• Where does your organization want to be 18 months from now?
• What could prevent you from getting there?

‍

"The most common mistake is hiring the right person for the wrong situation."

‍

Too often, organizations begin with an idealized picture of the candidate they want rather than a clear understanding of the challenge they need solved. Alvaro shared the example of a CIO search for a pharmaceutical company. The hiring manager was adamant that the ideal candidate needed exceptional communication and influencing skills. As the discussion unfolded, Alvaro kept asking a simple question: Why? The answer eventually became clear.

‍

The future CIO would occasionally need to update the Board on the progress of a major ERP migration project. But that represented only a very small fraction of the role. The real challenge was leading a highly technical, complex, and business-critical transformation across multiple continents. By focusing too heavily on a secondary requirement, the company risked excluding candidates who might have been exceptional at the core mission.

‍

The lesson extends far beyond executive search. In a world where business cycles are accelerating and organizations increasingly operate across geographies and remote teams, leadership requirements are evolving.

‍

"It's no longer enough to be the most strategic person in the room."

‍

Organizations still need vision, but they increasingly value leaders who can translate strategy into execution, navigate complexity, and deliver results quickly through distributed teams. The cost of getting these decisions wrong is significant. A failed executive hire can easily cost 2-3 times the individual's annual compensation.

‍

When assessing senior candidates, Alvaro pays particular attention to two qualities:

‍

• Self-awareness. He confessed to being “a little bit obsessed with self-awareness". He seeks to understand the challenges and mistakes a leader has faced, what they learned from them, and how those lessons shaped the way they lead today.

• Humility. "Humility is very important at that level." As organizations work to break down silos, they increasingly seek leaders who are motivated by moving the business forward rather than receiving personal credit for doing so.

Alvaro's perspective stayed with me. As a coach, I have learned that leadership effectiveness is rarely absolute. The same leader can thrive in one environment and struggle in another.

‍

Organizations rarely need the best leader. They need the right leader for the challenge they are facing now. That is why the first question is not about the candidate. It is about the situation.

‍

‍